The beginning ...

The first entry:
Okay, so I am so new to this. I haven't even really read many blogs to know what people write about. So, to say the least I haven't followed any other blogs.

The purpose:
The main reason I am doing this to just have somewhere to chronicle my thoughts, fears, and ramblings. I want this to be a place where I can really talk about whats going on in my life. Or even yet to express how I feel about what's going on in the world at the moment.

Details about me:
I am a late thirtysomething gay man living in New England. I have a partner and a home. We have been together for 8 years. I am disabled for just under 3 years now. I am a survivor of sexual abuse, emotional abuse, and spiritual abuse. I have depression, PTSD (big surprise) and am agoraphobic.

Latest events in my life:
On Monday, January 31 I received word that my claim for disability was being terminated by the insurance company that handles the LTD claims for the company I formerely worked at. To say that this news was unsettling to me is quite an understatement. Things have been quite hard since. I am currently in the midst of a depression. It's hard to function right now.

Even though the government, my therapist and my psychiatrist all believe I am unable to return to work these insurance bastards believe otherwise. Of course, they had their own doctor do a review of my case and he believes that I can go back to work. They don't take into consideration that my sleep patterns are anything but normal. That I spend several days a week non-fuctioning and that without meds things would be even worse.

Their decision to deny my claim means that I loose a pitiful check each month, health insurance, life insurance and retirement benefits. The even generously suggested that I seek employment in phone sales from my home ... The depth of compassion is just overwhelming.