Thanksgiving and grief

This year I am back to a familiar place
A place where I would rather forget this holiday
It feels so bogus
Dysfunction haunts the depths of my soul

No matter how hard we try
Cannot create and honor a tradition
We've cooked, big Martha Stewart meals with friends
Small meals for just two
But it just never remains true

My mind ruminates on
the sorrow
the loss
what will never be
that familiar grief.